Relaying The Really Shitty News

23/07/2012 15:31

The worst moment of my life, apart from finding out I have cancer, is telling everyone I have cancer.

Its not an easy thing to do. You just can't slip it into conversation. You know "Hi. Watcha up to?" " How was your holiday?" "What are your plans for next week?" "Well I have just been told I have cancer, my holiday bloody sucked and next week I start chemo!" Not a conversational ice breaker that one.

But tell people I must. So luckily in the digital age I have various means at my disposal. I have mobile telecommunications devices, a bog standard telephone, email, Facebook and Twitter (but sorry no MySpace - never got into that one). I use all these things. What I really could have done with though was a great, big, barrage balloon, you know - like the Hindenberg airships, with a great big neon sign on it, flashing, saying "Emma has cancer. I repeat. Emma has cancer. Do not panic. This is not a drill." 

Everyone is as upset as me. We all cry. The electronic devices start to fizzle from the moisture damage. I have to explain everything again. All the sciencey stuff. It is not fun. In fact, it is downright poo. The worst thing is telling my children. That was really hard. No one should have to EVER DO THAT SHIT. But I did it. And it makes you a stronger person. 

Enough said on this subject!