'I'm in the de-details with the Devil'

04/04/2013 09:40

I asked for my pathology reports today. My consultant was relcutant to give them to me. I whinged at him and eventually he relented.  I know this was probably a bad idea. I think he also knew it was a bad idea. I like to google. So it should be no surprise that google I did.

My consultant had commented, as he handed over the histology details, that I was "interesting". "Interesting" hey? In an enigmatic way? No, my pathology was interesting.

I know now about the coil marker and how it had bisected the tumour. One bit had gone off on its own - rogue - as I call it and the other bit had stayed in the same place. Scans at the end of chemo indicated that the blasted lump had shrunk from 2.3cm to 1.2cm. Yay much celebrating. I thought to myself - Great, the hair loss, the griniding pain, the nausea , and all the other side effects are worth it as it has halved. BUT we did not know that this was just the bit that had stayed "in-situ". The coil marker had cut the tumour in half and the other bit had wandered off, looking for action elsewhere. And no-one had bothered to look for it - becuase these things do not usually happen. So no-one knew anything about it until the mamogram prior to the First Operation.

I checked out my path report over the weekend. And I have put a call into my consultant's secretary and have asked a very, big question. "Did the chemo actually work?" 

From my understanding of the report, after all the excisions, two tumours were removed, One is 10mm big and Grade 3. This is the piece that went cruising off around my boob looking for some action elsewhere. The other tumour, which is where the lump was and always had been was 12mm big. I was concerned that they were parts of the same tumour and together, making a whole tumour, and that the chemo had no effect at all.

A call to my BCN clarified the situation. The tumour that wandered off on its own did NOT (I repeat, did not) respond to Chemo. So that sucks. The other did slightly. Not a lot. But a bit.  But the good news - AT LEAsT IT DID NOT GROW. Yeah, that's the flipping good news!

I still have a bad feeling about things though................

I need a shot of positivity. Any idea where I can get that anyone?